Naughty or Nice?
by Beansprout-Ninja
Summary: In which Marik's name is forever written on Santa's naughty list. Crack YBxMI


**Disclaimer:** I don't need Yu-Gi-Oh; I have fanfiction instead.

**Note:** I am not attempting to offend anyone who does not celebrate Christmas. This was simply written in the good spirit of thiefshipping. Remember that Marik and Bakura don't celebrate Christmas either.

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><p>Christmas was not his thing. Not at all.<p>

"Can I have some cards? I need to build up my deck."

"I want a new teddy bear. My mommy took away my old one because she said he was evil."

Without the free shit he often received, Bakura probably wouldn't have celebrated at all. Exactly the reason why it was hard to explain how he had ended up on the uncomfortable chair in the middle of Domino City's mall busied with frantic, last-minute shoppers, wearing the itchiest and most suffocating article of clothing he had ever allowed to coat his skin, and snot-nosed little brats sitting in his lap, whispering their deepest desires into his ear.

"I want a pony!"

"Do you think you could give me some Sailor Moon manga? My mother told me it isn't for little boys like me to read."

"Can I have some glitter stickers?"

He wasn't enjoying himself. Even conversing with the Pharaoh seemed more inviting than this. That is, until the leather-clad ass he knew so well plopped unceremoniously onto his groin.

"... And then I want some more eyeliner, and maybe some hair gel since Melvin said something about running out, and perhaps some scented bath oils... Oh, and I want some more yaoi doujinshis since I've just about read my entire collection and stupid Ishizu said she wouldn't buy anymore because it was damaging to my mind. Can you believe that? Don't forget to eat all the cookies, because last year I spent all that time baking them and I even burned the oven, but you didn't eat them and it made me really sad to-"

The list had been going for a good ten minutes and Bakura had caught about half of what the boy was shrieking into his ear canal. Frankly, he couldn't hear much of anything over the buzz of excitement in his ears; Marik unconsciously squirming in his red-clad lap did... things to his body.

Alas, even fucking Marik wasn't worth this indescribable torture.

"Is that all you want for Christmas?" Bakura didn't bother with masking his voice; he had long since passed the point of caring. At Marik's nod, he continued with the standard interrogation. "Have you been a good boy this year?" Marik seemed to consider his question carefully, a devious smirk playing at the corners of his lips. Bakura almost felt like smiling; seems he had begun to rub off on the boy. "Not quite," Marik replied.

Leaning in, his breath ghosting Bakura's ear, he whispered, low and hushed. "Write my name on your naughty list."

Gods, that was sexy. In the years he had known Marik, he had always made the initiative. Bakura found it incredibly arousing when Marik himself suggested the act.

Marik's hand wandered down his chest, resting at his neck to unbutton the row of shining black buttons lining his coat. "I've been a bad boy this year, Santa. I think you need to check your list again." He smiled a blinding grin, promising pleasure and ecstasy if Bakura agreed with his implied request. As a reply, Bakura busied himself with latching onto Marik's neck, as if he was a starving leech desperate for human blood.

Whispers from the crowd of children and disapproving glares and murmurs of parents drifted away, leaving only Marik and Bakura in their own little bubble of silence; it was as if the entire world around them had disappeared into a white mist. Not that either really cared about the mob of onlookers; why not give them a free show?

Successful in the unbuttoning of Bakura's red coat, Marik tore it off and tossed it to the side, all while clapping his lips against Bakura's and clashing their tongues in an intense fight for dominance. Bakura was frighteningly close to winning, but Marik was not about to lose his dignity. Disconnecting his mouth from Bakura's, to the dismay of both males, he ripped open the albino's white collared shirt, littering bruises of affection across the stark collarbone.

Bakura resisted the sudden urge to moan and decided instead to twirl his saliva-coated tongue in the outer shell of Marik's exposed ear. Marik's moan was an erotic enunciation of his name and it did nothing to lessen Bakura's bulge of arousal.

Bakura, pleased he held the reins for the moment, forced Marik away from the sensitive skin of his exposed chest and crashed their mouths together again. Their pink tongues tasting, slipping, and twisting together in an exciting dance of attraction. Recognizing the human need to breathe, they withdrew, panting and staring at one another though eyes half-lidded and clouded by lust.

Bakura bruised lips slowly stretched in a wide grin. "A kiss a toy," he managed, "is the price you pay."

Marik took that as challenge.

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><p>"Big brother!"<p>

Seto, busying himself with paperwork on his laptop (Everything was online these days), glanced up at the juvenile voice of the younger Kaiba brother. "Mokuba, you know not to bother me when I'm attempting to-"

"But Seto," he whined, his blue irises displaying the infamous puppy eyes, "it's important!"

Seto let out an impatient grunt. "Fine. Hurry it up; I don't have all day."

Mokuba grinned. "You remember that Santa you hired, right?"

Seto nodded. He needed something to increase his sales for the festive season and he was smart to think the symbol of the holiday, Santa Claus, would effectively advertise to children and more importantly, their parents. But what did the Santa he hired have to do with Mokuba's important news?

"I saw Marik Ishtar," Mokuba giggled at the thin air above him, most likely reliving the amusing memory, "kissing Santa Claus!"

Seto resisted the sudden need to slap himself in the face. That was it; this was the absolutely first and last time he gave that former thief a job. He should have known it would cause him trouble. If fate was auspicious, perhaps it hadn't leaked to the media.

A woman's voice drifted from the television in a corner of the room, still turned on from when Mokuba had been watching cartoons earlier that morning. "Breaking news! Santa is caught kissing a young man by the name of Marik Ishtar! Is Santa gay? What exactly is the CEO of the insanely popular KaibaCorp trying to say? More at eleven!"

A long, uncomfortable moment of silence ensued, in which Mokuba detained his breath, awaiting his brother's reaction. He didn't have to wait long. "Fuuu~"

And so, we introduce why Seto Kaiba no longer advertises (nor celebrates) Christmas.

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><p>Honestly, I was running out of Christmas present ideas. That being said, I gift this wonderful piece of writing to <em>BlackLotus524<em>. Merry Christmas!

Reviews are cradled to my bosom and given much love and affection. Consider them a present from you to me.

And remember, kids: the naughty list isn't always a bad place to be. ;D

Happy holidays!

_-Beansprout-Ninja _


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